On Poop Jokes

I recently read this hilarious and honest post about “PR” on Facebook, as in filtering your life for social media to make it look like you are glamorous and in a constant state of false eyelashes.

I do it! I absolutely filter. My status will say something like, “Oh em gee, working out in the sun! So fetch. Kiss kiss!” In reality, I haven’t changed my pants in three days, my refrigerator is filled with moldy grapes (oh, God, I hope those are grapes), and I am either pulling out or dyeing my hair in an effort to think of “what comes next.”

Instagram has only exacerbated the issue. Since activating an account, I can share a picture like this:

"Just rolled out of bed like this!" #SoManyFilters

“Just rolled out of bed!” #SoManyFilters

When I really look like this:

Waking Up

#NoFilter

I mean, what is the harm of putting on a hat that I would never wear outside of my house and taking a picture? And then blurring that picture … and changing all of the colors in the picture … and putting a frame around it so I look even more vintage (douchey) than usual? It’s far better than the latter, and I would never consider just not taking a picture of myself to share in the morning. How will my Facebook friends know I survived the night?

I realized how out of hand my life-editing was when one of my best friends visited me this past week. We have a longstanding tradition of messing with each others Facebook, so I shouldn’t have been horrified when I saw that he posted this:

Too Much Fiber One
But I was horrified! What if people really thought I was irresponsible enough to eat more than one Fiber One bar?! I’ve read the warnings on the box! I know that Code Brown is all too real! What if people started thinking that girls poop?! Our princess perfect images would be shattered!

After the shock wore off, I had to laugh; what a classic Facebook poop joke! Some people even “Liked” it and shared their own Fiber One horror stories.  Only twenty people unfriended me, and, you know what, I feel freer without those haters crowded my homepage.

It’s all too easy to get caught up in how you “look” on Facebook or Twitter or whatever internet animal it is you use to shamelessly publicize your personal business.  If you find yourself obsessing over hashtags and whether or not to use the “Nashville” or “Earlybird” filter, may I suggest that you set aside your insecurities and publish a poop joke?

I think, with that little push, you’ll feel very much relieved.

Next time: Over-sharing on the web.

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