Ask Me How I’m Feeling: Making Love Like Gorillas

Top 40, Meet Jane GoodallAccording to his single “Gorilla,” Bruno Mars likes to get down animal style. Calling upon his inner King Kong, he croons about how even a SWAT team would not be able to get in the way of “you and me, baby, making love like gorillas.” Hmm. Sounds romantic. And possibly feral.

As this song gains momentum on the charts, inevitably doomed to haunt commuters as they hear it 12 times during their morning commute, it’s time to ask the important questions. Mainly:

Why gorillas?

True, they are kind of our cousins, and science has found that they are one of the few other species who has sexy-time just for funsies (dolphins being the kinkiest of those select species). It’s just interesting that Bruno is trying to appoint gorillas as the mascot of making love.  He eschewed cats, chickens, ferrets in favor of monkeys that kind of look like furry, angry, elderly people who forgot to put pants on.

Maybe he chose gorillas because the majestic Chihuahua was already taken by Taco Bell …

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Gorillas Making Out

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