Ask Me How I’m Feeling: Van Damme’s Volvo Commercial

Volvo has invented the most high tech roller skates known to mankind. In a YouTube video released earlier this week, martial artist and roller skate enthusiast Jean Claude Van Damme demonstrated the new Roller Volvos. Complete with D13-LNG engines, each skate has a whopping eighteen wheels –over four times what the “classic models” sport — lending quadruple […]

Five Songs I Want to Write for Princess Bride: The Musical

With all the Hollywood movies getting the Broadway treatment these past few years—Billy Elliot, The Lion King, Newsies—it’s easy to overlook all the silver screen options. (Then there are the screen-to-stage adaptations we’d rather forget; Spider-Man: Turn off the Dark, anyone?) Rumor has it that the 1987 action/comedy/drama/fantasy/romance (what genre does it not touch on?) […]

Ask Me How I’m Feeling: Making Love Like Gorillas

Top 40, Meet Jane GoodallAccording to his single “Gorilla,” Bruno Mars likes to get down animal style. Calling upon his inner King Kong, he croons about how even a SWAT team would not be able to get in the way of “you and me, baby, making love like gorillas.” Hmm. Sounds romantic. And possibly feral. […]

Ask Me How I’m Feeling: Bentley Flying Spur

‘New Bentley Flying Spur Premiere, O’Gara Coach Company, Beverly Hills “So, how long have you been into cars?” I get this question a lot at car events, and I’m still working on my answer: “Well, I’ve been in this car for about two minutes.” The truth is, I’ve never been “into” cars. I often mistake […]

Ask Me How I’m Feeling: “Ugly Athletes”

I was outraged yesterday when I clicked on this link a friend shared on Facebook. The Public Shaming post shows tweet after tweet calling Marion Bartoli, the 28 year-old Wimbledon champion, ugly. “I don’t want an ugly bitch to win,” says one tweet. Some ask that the tennis star lift her skirt so the world […]

Ask Me How I’m Feeling: Day Changers

A day changer is a sentence or an event or even just a weird eye contact situation that, well, changes your day. Day changers can be both negative and positive, so I’ve indicated which is which with — surprise! — negative and positive signs. You’re welcome. (I had two glasses of wine at lunch, so […]

Ask Me How I’m Feeling: HENRi

This week, I was a super lucky girl. I got a sneak peak of HENRi, the newly released sci-fi short film by Eli Sasich, and I’m still trying to suss out why I feel all tingly every time I think about it. To be fair, it could be the new toothpaste I just bought. But […]

Ask Me How I’m Feeling: House of Cards

Here are the reasons, in no particular order, why I love House of Cards. (For the record, I am halfway through episode 4, but that happened all in one sitting, so …) 1. Kevin Spacey is talking to me. It feels like we are friends. He totally trusts me above all other people, not unlike […]

Ask Me How I’m Feeling: US Weekly’s Best of 2012

My dad is a doctor. He is my hero. He saves lives and listens to people’s problems, and for some reason every piece-of-crap magazine thinks that his home address is his office, so they send issue after STAR MELTDOWN issue, month after month. These are all good things. I would never ever spend real money […]

A Les Miserable Review

WARNING: The following review contains SPOILERS and was written by someone whose only authority comes from four years of high school theatre. All questions, comments, and concerns can be directed to Hugh Jackmen. He’s my secretary, and he loves talking on the phone. Sacré blur, where do I begin? First of all, even though I […]