On Poop Jokes

I recently read this hilarious and honest post about “PR” on Facebook, as in filtering your life for social media to make it look like you are glamorous and in a constant state of false eyelashes. I do it! I absolutely filter. My status will say something like, “Oh em gee, working out in the […]

In Defense of Redheads

I have been dyeing my hair since I was twelve, and it has been the following colors: brown, light brown, dark brown, black, blonde, “dishwater” blonde, really blonde, white, Lizzie McGuire-yellow, crayon-yellow, orange, oops-orange, lavender, pink, and red. And I can say, without a doubt, that redheads are the MOST discriminated against, by far. This […]

On Being Tweeted By Russell Crowe

Have I mentioned that I have a dumb phone? Because I do. It has the IQ of a peanut. A peanut that has already been eaten, digested, and reunited with its deceased friends in peanut heaven. IT’S REALLY DUMB. However, I do have to give my dunce of a phone a little credit because it […]

Departures

After a month at home, I am going back to Los Angeles in the morning. I’m feeling incredibly sappy, especially after seeing so many of my friends and family all condensed into this absolutely beautiful weekend. I mostly just want to thank everyone that I’ve seen in DC for the endless pep talks and laughter […]

Model Citizen

Tomorrow, my lovely friend and photographer, Winston, is going to shoot me. With a camera. Very exciting. There is always an unsettling anxiety about knowing you are going to get your picture taken. Like in eighth grade when I thought my hair was getting darker so I used Sun-In every day for a week before […]

How To: Pregnancy Tests

I have an announcement to make! I, Christina Marie Wolfgram III have been published. By an online art magazine that isn’t even run by my mom! My excitement is immeasurable, and I can imagine that I must look pretty rabid since the girl who was sitting next to me in the library put down all […]

How to Gain Weight

I already told you, I think that you’re beautiful the way you are. After writing my post on How to Lose Weight, I realized I have so much MORE, perhaps even practical-er advice about health and life. So, here is another list. Like the previous one, it also came from my pink head. How to […]

Your Voice In My Head

“After the session, I stop in a department store to buy red lipstick I don’t need — all red lipstick is red lipstick, no red lipstick is needed. The man behind the NARS counter puts it on me … ‘It’s hard to tell what suits me at the moment because I’ve been crying a lot.’ […]