How To: Pregnancy Tests

I have an announcement to make! I, Christina Marie Wolfgram III have been published. By an online art magazine that isn’t even run by my mom! My excitement is immeasurable, and I can imagine that I must look pretty rabid since the girl who was sitting next to me in the library put down all […]

A Love Letter

Dear Reader (Mom), Thank you so much for following my thoughts for the past few months (22 years, 6 months, and 2 days). It means more than I can describe that you read the silly things that I try to explain (ramble about) in clear, concise language (unintelligibly on the phone for two hours). I […]

A List

It is Monday. I have three Word documents, five internet tabs, and one Powerpoint open. I do not want to work. Here is a list of things that I could be doing instead: – Writing a song. – Mowing a lawn. – Walking to a different neighborhood where there are lawns. – Waxing my entire […]

Crime Blotter #2

CRIMES AGAINST A PERSON At 10:12 A.M. on Oct. 10, a student worker was told to sharpen pencils at her on campus job. Over 400 pencils were found on the scene. After 2 hours at the electric sharpener, her will to live is in critical condition, but an expert in the field assured DPS that after […]

Anatomy of a Birthday Card

In the era of fancy birthday parties, back when goody bags were a must and you had to invited all the girls in your class, my parents were really kind about buying presents. When I think about how many birthday presents they bought for brats that I only liked for about five minutes in 3rd […]