Crime Blotter #3

CRIMES AGAINST POULTRY At 10:04 PM on Nov. 19, a student walking home from the USC campus came in contact with a live chicken resting on the hood of a car. When questioned, the student insisted, “He was not just in the Hood, he was also on a hood. I was pretty shocked.” Experts verified: […]

Crime Blotter #2

CRIMES AGAINST A PERSON At 10:12 A.M. on Oct. 10, a student worker was told to sharpen pencils at her on campus job. Over 400 pencils were found on the scene. After 2 hours at the electric sharpener, her will to live is in critical condition, but an expert in the field assured DPS that after […]