In Defense of Redheads

I have been dyeing my hair since I was twelve, and it has been the following colors: brown, light brown, dark brown, black, blonde, “dishwater” blonde, really blonde, white, Lizzie McGuire-yellow, crayon-yellow, orange, oops-orange, lavender, pink, and red. And I can say, without a doubt, that redheads are the MOST discriminated against, by far. This […]

It’s Okay To Hide

It’s Okay To Hide Under … Or at least, I think so. What do you hide under? (Also acceptable: forts, forts made out of blankets, forts made out of pasta, wine, mustaches, tattoos, bad haircuts, a gypsy lifestyle, lots of animals, one really big animal,stuffed animals, trees, poetry, plane tickets, fake tans, musicals, popular televisions […]

How To Keep Your Hair Pink

While Trying to Keep Emotionally Stable (based on a true story) The Thrilling Sequel to How To Dye Your Hair. So you got teary-eyed waiting in line for California Pizza Kitchen at the student center. That’s okay! At least there were no wildabeast-like sobs. No one noticed how, in your attempt to cover up said […]

How To Dye Your Hair

when you are emotionally unstable (based on a true story) So let’s say someone has broken your heart. Or you didn’t get the job you wanted. Or you keep reading about how this is the last season of 30 Rock. You hurt, right? You need to let your feelings out but you don’t want to […]

How To: Self Portrait

Here’s the scene: It’s dark, mostly because it’s nighttime. Also because I live in a basement. Sirens howl from a few streets over and I can hear our dog pacing back and forth in the yard above. I’ve been sitting for what feels like the whole day. My chair is squeaky, my desk is a […]