Jenna Marbles’ New Boyfriend: An Obsessive Overprotective Fan’s Guide

Finally, my Facebook super sleuthing skills have come in handy. Check out this article I wrote for tvmix.com. Warning: this article contains mild internet stalking. Last December, fans of internet sensation Jenna Marbles were devastated when she announced that she was splitting from her boyfriend of four years, Max Weisz (known on YouTube as MaxNoSleeves). […]

Five Songs I Want to Write for Princess Bride: The Musical

With all the Hollywood movies getting the Broadway treatment these past few years—Billy Elliot, The Lion King, Newsies—it’s easy to overlook all the silver screen options. (Then there are the screen-to-stage adaptations we’d rather forget; Spider-Man: Turn off the Dark, anyone?) Rumor has it that the 1987 action/comedy/drama/fantasy/romance (what genre does it not touch on?) […]

‘Appy Birthday, ‘Arry

Today, Harry Potter turns 33. According to Potterpedia, Voldemort was defeated in 1998, so it’s been fifteen years since Harry has had to do any Expelliarmussing (at least in the life-threatening capacity). He has been Head Auror for some time now and has been featured on his very own Chocolate Frog Card (Ron and Hermione […]

On Love

I did not know love before you. You have completely changed my life. I spend the whole day with your body pressed to mine, and to part from you is to crave you. I wonder what you’re doing when I’m gone. I wonder what my absence means to you. I wonder if you wait for […]

Ask Me How I’m Feeling: House of Cards

Here are the reasons, in no particular order, why I love House of Cards. (For the record, I am halfway through episode 4, but that happened all in one sitting, so …) 1. Kevin Spacey is talking to me. It feels like we are friends. He totally trusts me above all other people, not unlike […]

How To: Pregnancy Tests

I have an announcement to make! I, Christina Marie Wolfgram III have been published. By an online art magazine that isn’t even run by my mom! My excitement is immeasurable, and I can imagine that I must look pretty rabid since the girl who was sitting next to me in the library put down all […]

A Love Letter

Dear Reader (Mom), Thank you so much for following my thoughts for the past few months (22 years, 6 months, and 2 days). It means more than I can describe that you read the silly things that I try to explain (ramble about) in clear, concise language (unintelligibly on the phone for two hours). I […]