My Workout Routine

Exercise is apparently a stress-buster, so I try to fit in an hour each day. Because of my weird schedule, I never know when that hour is going to be, so I mostly work out at home. This means no one can hold me accountable. It’s only me and my motivation! I made a chart […]

Sporknotes: A Brief History of Miley Cyrus

Confession: I saw Hannah Montana: The Movie in theaters. Oh, and in my basement, you will find a Hannah Montana board game that I used to play with my best friend and my younger sister (but mostly with my best friend because my sister thought the game was dumb). Also, in my nightstand at home, […]

An Open Letter to Lil Wayne

[This post contains crude language and some crazed lady-ranting. I’m not apologizing. I’m just saying.] Dear Mr. Wayne, Last week, a friend sat me down and insisted I listen to what he deemed “the most misogynistic song to ever exist.” While I usually don’t go out of my way to listen to music that will make […]

A Les Miserable Review

WARNING: The following review contains SPOILERS and was written by someone whose only authority comes from four years of high school theatre. All questions, comments, and concerns can be directed to Hugh Jackmen. He’s my secretary, and he loves talking on the phone. Sacré blur, where do I begin? First of all, even though I […]

Interpreting Christmas Song Lyrics

  It’s a tough job, but somebody’s gotta do it. I apologize for how little I’ve written this week, but I promise I have been writing other things. Hopefully you will see them on a bookshelf or in a toilet stall in the near future! Are there any Christmas carol lyrics that you never thought […]

Open Letters from the Counting Crows Concert

Dear Couple Next to Me, I am not so good at concerts, probably because I grew up going to the Kennedy Center every few months to see the National Symphony Orchestra, and in the Kennedy Center there are throat lozenges available for people who think they might cough during performances, and coughing is frowned upon. […]

It’s Okay To Hide

It’s Okay To Hide Under … Or at least, I think so. What do you hide under? (Also acceptable: forts, forts made out of blankets, forts made out of pasta, wine, mustaches, tattoos, bad haircuts, a gypsy lifestyle, lots of animals, one really big animal,stuffed animals, trees, poetry, plane tickets, fake tans, musicals, popular televisions […]