Pope, Lock, and Drop It

Greetings Universe, It is I, your new pope. Surprised? I know I am a little young and fertile and the proud owner of two gorgeous ovaries, but I have been wearing dresses my whole life and I did go through a healthy Madonna phase when I was a preteen (see: Fashion Crosses). You’ll also be […]

On Poop Jokes

I recently read this hilarious and honest post about “PR” on Facebook, as in filtering your life for social media to make it look like you are glamorous and in a constant state of false eyelashes. I do it! I absolutely filter. My status will say something like, “Oh em gee, working out in the […]

How To: Pregnancy Tests

I have an announcement to make! I, Christina Marie Wolfgram III have been published. By an online art magazine that isn’t even run by my mom! My excitement is immeasurable, and I can imagine that I must look pretty rabid since the girl who was sitting next to me in the library put down all […]

A Love Letter

Dear Reader (Mom), Thank you so much for following my thoughts for the past few months (22 years, 6 months, and 2 days). It means more than I can describe that you read the silly things that I try to explain (ramble about) in clear, concise language (unintelligibly on the phone for two hours). I […]