Ask Me How I’m Feeling: Day Changers

A day changer is a sentence or an event or even just a weird eye contact situation that, well, changes your day. Day changers can be both negative and positive, so I’ve indicated which is which with — surprise! — negative and positive signs. You’re welcome. (I had two glasses of wine at lunch, so […]

How To: Pregnancy Tests

I have an announcement to make! I, Christina Marie Wolfgram III have been published. By an online art magazine that isn’t even run by my mom! My excitement is immeasurable, and I can imagine that I must look pretty rabid since the girl who was sitting next to me in the library put down all […]

Crime Blotter #3

CRIMES AGAINST POULTRY At 10:04 PM on Nov. 19, a student walking home from the USC campus came in contact with a live chicken resting on the hood of a car. When questioned, the student insisted, “He was not just in the Hood, he was also on a hood. I was pretty shocked.” Experts verified: […]

Crime Blotter

Today I picked up USC’s campus newspaper, The Daily Trojan, for the first time, hoping to learn more about social events that aren’t football. Instead, I found this, the first entry in the crime blotter: CRIMES AGAINST A PERSON At 2:29 P.M. on Sept. 4, a staff member in the Eileen and Kenneth T. Norris […]